


The Consequence That Leads To The Future

by mltschanz



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mltschanz/pseuds/mltschanz
Summary: SynopsisWhat happened after Felicity told Rory the truth about Havenrock?  This is one version, you will just have to read to find out what happens.SettingThe events of this story occur one day after events in Season 5 Episode 3 but before Episode 4 or any other future episodes.





	

The Consequence

Felicity POV  
It has been 24 hours since I told Rory/Ragman the truth about Havenrock. It has been 23 hours since I got home to drown my overwhelming pain and guilt with a bottle of wine and half carton of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream- Ben and Jerry’s, I needed the best considering I was trying to forget two very excruciating aspects of my life.

I remember taking a long drink of wine and eating a bowl of mint chip to ease of pain of the first painful aspect- Rory and Havenrock. I wouldn’t blame Rory/Ragman if he hates me. How could he not? At times I hate myself for failing that night. I can’t help pondering the question of how are we going to work together? I’m not even sure I will be able to look him in the eye. I made up my mind that depending on his reaction I would do what was right and offer him a choice if need be. All that death and destruction because I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t fast enough. I don’t think I can ever atone for my actions that day.

The second painful aspect, as usual, revolves around Oliver. Rory/Ragman ended up saving Oliver’s life after Oliver went into a dangerous situation alone after me telling him not to. It started with Oliver fighting Tobias Church, one of our big bads, while Rory ended up confronting the female scientist who had helped in building the bomb that I diverted to Havenrock. I listened as Rory explained to her that he was the sole survivor of Havenrock. Once I heard him say that I was instantly filled with guilt and had a panic attack at the bunker. I am not sure if Oliver heard what Rory told her. May he did, Maybe he didn’t. I also overheard Oliver and Rory speaking later on a rooftop. Oliver thanked Rory for saving his life and Rory explained that the rags were ancient and saved him from the fire on what he called Genesis Day. At that point, if he had not already, Oliver had to realize Rory was referring to Havenrock. So what does Oliver do without thinking about the consequences? What action does he take without considering how I would feel? He invites Rory to join the team and tells Rory they can work together to honor their fathers. Once again all on his own without discussing it with me, he makes a split second decision that is very painful for me. Just like that, I am reminded of when I ended our engagement telling him that “marriage is about inclusion, it is about leaning on your partner when things gets complicated and I don’t think that you know how to do that.” Sadness fills me as I think ‘there is indeed a piece of him stuck on the island that defaults to going it alone.’ Silent tears start running down my face and I say to myself “He will never change. He still doesn’t know how to truly include me.” Only this time it could have repercussions. With that depressing thought, I take another long drink of wine and quickly eat another bowl of ice cream. Mercifully I’m quickly overcome with exhaustion so I walk to the bedroom and change into pajamas. I then crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep.

So here it is 23 hours later and I am back in the Arrow bunker working at my computers and Oliver working out on the salmon ladder. Strangely enough I don’t even care to look as he works out. 

The rest of the team will be here shortly to begin our nightly mission of protecting Star City. As usual I am multi-tasking, doing upgrades and searches on our latest big bads (Tobias Church and Prometheus) on my computers. Even as fast as my mind thinks, I am having a hard time focusing on it all. I am filled with anxiety and guilt at the thought of seeing Rory again after telling him the truth. I know I did the right thing in telling him the truth but am still unsure if I will be able to look Rory in the eyes. I don’t even have the alcohol in my system to dull the ache and pain like I did last night. I don’t blame him for simply walking out because he couldn’t even look at me let alone be around me.

I hear the elevator door open and out steps Rory alone. My gut clenches with trepidation. Oliver jumps down off the salmon ladder and greets Rory. I stand up and start slowly walking over to the two men.

“Hi Rory, you’re early.” Oliver tell him.

“Hi Oliver. Felicity. I came early to see if I couldn’t catch you both before all of the team arrived. We need to talk.” Rory states with a slight icy edge to his voice.

My breath hitches and I barely hide a cringe. ‘I hate that phrase’ I say to myself. I realize instantly this isn’t going to be good by the stern look on his face.

“What is it?” Oliver asks in his usual calm and controlled manner. I’m just standing there frozen and wait for another bomb to drop.

Rory states “I don’t think I can be here. I can’t be in the same room with you Felicity when I know you killed my parents.” His voice begins to take on bitter edge as he completes the sentence.

Oliver immediately comes to my defense stating “Rory, Felicity made a hard…”

“Oliver, stop” I interrupt him, raising my voice just slightly. I try to make my face look unemotional and unaffected just like Oliver can do so expertly but that only lasts a second before my face becomes pained just like when Rory walked away without a word. I quickly feel like I’m going to throw up but push away the nausea. Both Rory and Oliver are now looking at me. Rory’s eyes show the hurt and anger he is struggling with and I hate knowing I did that.

“Rory, again I am so sorry. I understand if you can’t forgive me. I don’t think I can forgive myself.” My voice takes on the sadness and pain that it contained during my confession to Rory last night as I say the sentence.

“Felicity” Oliver interjects but I don’t want his help or interference.

“Be quiet Oliver, please” I interrupt him once again sternly yet as calmly as possible.

I continue “To divert the missile was a split second decision that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I suspect it will haunt me for the rest of my days.” As the words come flowing out I realize how not okay I am just like last night when I tried to bury the emotions with wine and ice cream. However, I have more to say, more that I want Rory to understand, so I keep going.

“Rory, there are mornings when I wake up and can barely stomach looking at myself in the mirror. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed with guilt and don’t know hope to cope with the fact that I am a mass murderer. All because I wasn’t good enough. All because I wasn’t fast enough” I confess.

“Felicity, you are not…” Oliver states but again I don’t want his intervention.

“Shut up Oliver” I state in my loud voice so that he will stop and shut his mouth. He can’t help with this. It is between Rory and myself.

I lower my voice and state “Rory, I’m going to give you a choice.” My voice is now barely a whisper. I wish it had not come to this and dig deep for the strength to do what is right. I look briefly at Oliver who has this confused look on his face. I then focus my eyes on Rory.

“Choice? What do you mean?” Rory asks and I don’t miss the hint of confusion on his face. 

“Rory, you say that you can’t be here with me. You don’t have to be.” I state.

“Felicity, don’t” Oliver states pleadingly, clearly not likely the direction the conversation is taking.

“Oliver, for the last time, stay out of this!” I yell. Oliver is so startled that he steps back slightly. He clearly doesn’t like this but holds his hands up in surrender. ‘That’s better’ I think to myself. I close my eyes and take a cleansing breath. I open my eyes and look at Rory.

“There are two options here Rory. One, you decide to leave the team since you can’t be in the same room with me and never talk about it with anyone. Two, you decide to stay and I will leave so that you don’t have to see me ever again.” I explain.

“Felicity, NO!” shouts Oliver. I look over at him. Oliver is now pale and all but pleading with me. His plea has no effect on me and I stand firm in offering a choice to Rory as the right thing to do. If working with Oliver and saving Star City helps mend his broken soul who am I to prevent that from happening. It gave me purpose at one point. Maybe it is time that it gives Rory purpose. 

I look over at Rory. His eyes now show shock in amongst the pain and anger. He can’t quite believe I have given him that choice. “You really mean it?” He asks.

“Yes, I really mean it.” I reply sincerely.

“Felicity, don’t do this. Please” Oliver implores.

I look back at Oliver and calmly state “Oliver, you made your decision and brought Rory onto the team. I made my decision to do what I think is right and offer Rory the choice. Now, it is Rory’s turn to decide and he gets to choose which one of us stays.”

Rory is still taken aback and I can see he is struggling with his choice. He looks at me intently for the longest time.

The silence is unnerving so I decide to reassure him. “Rory, the choice is yours and I will accept your decision. You decided to join the team and honor your father’s memory by helping save Star City. You can still do that. I am willing to bow out and give you the opportunity. I owe you that much.” I see Oliver twitch uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye. ‘Back off Oliver. This isn’t your decision to make’ I think to myself. I know I will miss the bunker and my Arrow family but firmly believe I have to do this in hopes of making things right. I have to accept that it is a consequence of my decision to divert the missile to Havenrock and killing thousands of people including Rory’s family should he choose to stay.

“I want to stay. Being part of this team and saving Star City allows me to make a difference instead of just seeking vengeance.” Rory states in a hushed voiced.

“No.” I hear Oliver whisper.

“Then stay Rory and make a positive difference. Be a better person them someone who just wants vengeance. I will leave right now and you won’t have to see me again.” I tell him. I then turn and walk over to grab my purse out of the drawer so that Rory can see I am serious about going. I leave my cell phone on the computer desk as I don’t want Oliver to call me on it or use the phone to track me. 

I turn and look at Oliver. Pain and disbelief showing clearly on his face. Oliver begs “Felicity, please don’t do this. We will find another way. Finding another way is what we do right?” ‘Since when does Oliver Queen beg for anything’ I think to myself wryly. 

I walk over to him. “Not this time Oliver. On more than one occasion you have made decisions for me or wanted me to think or feel a certain way. I’m not letting you do that this time. This isn’t your choice to make Oliver.” I can tell he is about to try and talk me out of this so I rise up and give him a sweet yet chaste kiss on the check to keep him from speaking. “You need to convince Curtis to be your IT guru. It will ease the tension between him and Paul once he stops coming home with bruises and injuries.” I say the last sentence with a light tone that I didn’t think I had in me at the moment. Before Oliver can interrupt me I push on and say “You, Rory, Rene and Evelyn will be just fine out there on the streets. Hopefully Diggle will return soon. I want the four of you and hopefully five of you in the near future to work as a team and protect this city. Do you understand?” 

Oliver and I look at each other intensely. We have one of our silent conversations that came so naturally before everything went wrong with Damien Darhk, the lie, and our subsequent break up. This would have felt nice if the circumstances were different but they are not. So I look at him letting him know this is something I need to do and I want him to realize that I don’t want to fight with him about it. He stares back at me recognizing that I am not going to back down or change my mind. A sadness seeps into his eyes and shows me that he comprehends how important this is to me along with his intent to respect my choice even if he doesn’t like it.

In a voice so quiet that only Oliver can hear I say “You need to let me go. You are a good leader Oliver Queen, so promise me you will find a way to do this without me. Honor the time I have spent with you on the team by doing that for me. That is what I want you to do. Promise me?”

“Felicity, I never intended…” Oliver voice cracks completely and he can’t finish the sentence so he simply nods his head yes as a tear rolls down his check. 

In a voice filled with emotion I say “I know. Deep down you never do. It is the part of you that is still lost on the island.” I reach over and grab his hand as my eyes become watery. I give his hand a light squeeze and a tear runs down my cheek. Still holding his hand I look over at Rory and another tear trails down my face.

“I am truly sorry Rory. More than you know. I hope one day you can forgive me but I understand if you can’t. Please use this opportunity to do some good and help heal the pain I caused you. I swear you won’t have to see me again once I leave.” Tears continue down my face as I speak with Rory. He nods his head in understanding. 

I turn and look at Oliver one last time. “Goodbye Oliver. Do stay safe.”

“Goodbye Felicity. Please find peace and be happy.” he states as his voice cracks with emotion. With that he leans in and gives me a tender kiss on the forehead. I close my eyes and for a second I would swear we are back in our old liar under Verdant in the moment before he left to fight Ra’s on the mountain. I open my eyes and look at Oliver to convey to him that I have no regrets. I simply nods his head in understanding.

With that I release his hand. Instinctually he wipes away the tears from my checks with his hands. I turn and walk towards the door. I open the door and exit the bunker. I walk to my car and head home. It is the last time I am in bunker. It is the last time I see Oliver Queen in person.

Epilogue 1 – Oliver Queen Two Years In The Future

Oliver POV  
I find the breeze refreshing as myself and the team head back in. ‘She left two years ago to the day’ I think to myself. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of Felicity I mused. She is the woman I love, my always, and that will remain true until the day I die.

I ponder the last two years and realize much has happened since she left. I had run for election and won. Just over a year ago I was sworn in once again after winning the popular vote. It has not been easy. With the crime rate still problematic it took a while for the Anti-Crime Unit that I formed to really have a positive effect but it was slowly turning around. It was challenging obtaining emergency money after all the destruction Darhk had caused. It always seemed like more needed to be done and things did not happen fast enough such as repairs to the city infrastructure based on Darhk’s attack and the subsequent riots. During those frustrating days I would remind myself that I had to also fight for justice in the light and being mayor was the best way to truly make a positive difference which is the reason why I ran in the first place. 

It wasn’t all bad, there were some good accomplishments that I am proud of. There had been ribbon cutting ceremonies at new playground areas for children that had been destroyed by Darhk. The City succeeded in getting some grant funding and was able to open two new youth recreation centers that stayed open 24/7. These centers were proving to be a real help for troubled youth. The one that opened in the Glades I had named Harper Recreation Center in honor of Roy/Arsenal. I made Thea do the dedication and she was absolutely glowing. The hospital was able to make some necessary repairs after sustaining damage from Damien’s attack after Walter Steele and I reached out to several rich benefactors in the area who provided the needed donations to the Star City General Foundation. We have even been able to upgrade some senior centers after obtaining special capital outlay money.

None of that compared to the good news I got one morning watching television as I was getting ready to go to City Hall. The news reporters were covering a press conference with Felicity front and center while being flanked by the Palmer Technologies board. I noticed Mr. Dennis was not there which I found curious. Felicity stepped up to the microphone and explained that the board had reinstated her as CEO. I was instantly proud of her and knew that wherever Ray was traveling through time he would be too. But the good news didn’t stop there, she explained that the company was being renamed Smoak Technologies. ‘Way to go Felicity’ I said to myself. I couldn’t help but thinking that this is the way it should have been all along considering she basically ran the company when I was CEO. 

On nights that I was feeling restless I would go back out while still in my suit to the rooftop of the building across from the loft to look in on her and it gave me comfort. Tonight felt like one of those nights. After the team left the bunker I headed back out and climbed to said rooftop. I sat for a while watching her. She looked good tonight. She was talking on the phone and really smiled at something the other person said. I figure she is talking to Donna but, of course, I can’t be sure. When I first began to look in on her, she really wasn’t doing well. In the beginning she was restless, had huge bags under her eyes, and she didn’t truly smile. She was good at putting on a fake smile but I could see the truth. I was grateful to see the change tonight although it didn’t ease my guilt any. I couldn’t help thinking that if the newspapers ever found out my real identity and that I checked on my ex-fiancé they would call me “Stalker Mayor” instead of “Mayor Handsome.” A smiled crossed my mouth at that thought. I felt it best to keep my rooftop visits a complete secret and that is why I never spoke of it even with the team. 

Speaking of the team, it took some time but we are finally working well together. Rene/Wild Dog is slowly letting go of his undisciplined ways but it took quite some time of me reigning him in for that to happen. While Evelyn had been misguided when she took the canary cry from the hospital, she has a much better focus this time around. 

After Felicity left, I had a long talk with Rory/Ragman. I explained everything that happened that night Havenrock was destroyed. I helped him better understand the pressure Felicity was under that night and that she didn’t purposely target his family and reminded him that he had seen how guilt ridden she was with his own eyes. It may not lead to him forgiving Felicity but I think he is beginning to understand that Damien Darhk had a much bigger role in killing his family than she did. I made it clear to him that he was never to go after Felicity under any circumstances, no exceptions, unless he intended to answer to me. I figured I owed Felicity the heart to heart with Rory. As I watch him now, I am grateful to observe that he is truly utilizing the opportunity that Felicity gave him for good rather than vengeance.

As for Curtis Holt, I also had a long talk with him and asked him to assume her IT tech role. He was reluctant at first but I reminded him that it would make things easier with Paul. As usual, Felicity was proven right and it was easier for Curtis to be with the team in the IT capacity. Curtis is a trusted friend and his IT as well as applied science knowledge make him a valuable part of the team. I am pretty sure he gets together with Felicity on occasion for coffee, although he does not speak of it and I don’t ask.

Once John was released from the armed forces he did come back to the team as I had hoped. We quickly fell back in sync with one another and once again I had my best friend/confidant/bodyguard back. It raised my spirits when he came back to the team although he did need time to adjust to the new team mates. There was a period of adjustment for him and Lyla when he came back but with their strength of their relationship pulled them through. Lyla had told him that Felicity left but he wanted me to explain my side of the story. While John could understand my want to help out Rory he was angry and disappointed that I had not discussed including Rory on the team with Felicity. He yelled at me for not including her and losing the best thing I ever had. I can’t argue with him on that point. There are times when we are in the bunker and he thinks I’m not looking that he glances over at the computer station at what used to be her chair. A look of great sadness crosses his face and I know in that moment he is missing Felicity, his little sister and compatriot. I’m instantly overwhelmed with the ache of loss for her as well. ‘Original Team Arrow, OTA, as Felicity would say” I mused to myself as the corners of my mouth curve up in a smile.

As for me, I keep going forward as Mayor and Green Arrow as best I can. That very painful night two years ago I made a vow to myself to never break my promise to her. Her words coming back to mind like it was yesterday. In my mind I clearly hear her say:

You are a good leader Oliver Queen, so promise me you will find a way to do this without me. Honor the time I have spent with you on the team by doing that for me. That is what I want you to do.

As I sit atop the roof across from the loft, I renew my vow to her. Out loud I say “I promise Felicity. I will honor the time you spent by finding a way. As you once told me, I’m not done fighting. How can I be? After all, I know you are around to see the results of my efforts. So help me, I will not fail you in this promise Felicity.” 

‘You always make me want to be a better man Felicity, even now’ I think to myself. I mused that she made me want to be a better man because she had a way of standing up to me and supplying some much needed truth telling. That night two years ago was no exception. Again I hear here words from that night in my head:

On more than one occasion you have made decisions for me or wanted me to think or feel a certain way. I’m not letting you do that this time. This isn’t your choice to make Oliver.

Hearing her say those words that night hurt me deeply. They wounded me deeply because they made me see how right she was. I was always taking choices away from her. Pushing her away after our explosive first date without talking to her, partnering with Malcolm Merlyn without consulting her, joining the League without sharing my plan with her, and lying to her about William were the prime examples on a very long list. 

Inviting Rory to join the team without talking to her was a continuation of that pattern and it was a disaster. ‘It was a bad decision in so many ways’ I think to myself. First, Felicity was forced to face Rory and tell him the truth because of my actions. I realized that I was so focused on helping Rory be better than just vengeful I didn’t stop to see the big picture. I’m ashamed that I did not realize that they might be uncomfortable working together. Second, it was one more example of non-inclusion with the most caring and loyal partner a guy could have. Third, the decision caused me to lose my best friend and woman I love completely. Fourth, seeing her face riddled with guilt and hearing her belittle herself was more painful that Ra’s running me through. Once again her words come back to me as I hear her voice is in my head: 

Rory, there are mornings when I wake up and can barely stomach looking at myself in the mirror. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed with guilt and don’t know hope to cope with the fact that I am a mass murderer. All because I wasn’t good enough. All because I wasn’t fast enough.

The words trigger the picture of her guilt ridden face from that night and my eyes get watery. She referred to herself as a mass murder and I wanted to do something, say anything to rid her of that notion. The guilt lie with Damien. He is the real monster. God I wanted to yell at her to not believe that and shake her so she wouldn’t condemn herself. ‘To late’ I think to myself with a smirk as a tear runs down my check. 

Those words made me realize how blind I had been to her pain as we rebuilt the bunker. “I’m so sorry Felicity” I say out loud. ‘There was no excuse for me not seeing it’ I chastise myself. Just because I was struggling as both the mayor and the Green Arrow in saving Star City was no reason for me not to pick up on the pain radiating from the woman I love. I finally saw it clearly as she spoke with Rory and realized that she had been fooling even me as she left the bunker. I had noticed too late. I think to myself ‘you deserved so much more than that from me Felicity” with tears falling down my face.

I look back at her apartment and see her laugh at the television. Seeing her laugh lightened my mood. I told her to find some peace and be happy. Internally I hope and believe that her light heartedness is the start of that journey and her bubbly nature will light her way as it did for me on many a dark night. As for me, I realize that I might not die alone as I do have family but I will be alone romantically speaking. All because a part of me is stuck on the island and lied so I lost the woman I love, the best thing that ever happen to me. ‘God I really hate that part of myself. I lost real happiness and real love because of it’ I say to myself in a self-deprecating manner. I ponder if I would truly ever be able to change and completely come home. ‘I think that part of me is too ingrained’ I think ruefully. I look once more into the apartment and observe her take a drink of wine. ‘My always’ I muse to myself as a tear flows down my check. I don’t want another woman and never will. After all, she ruined me for all other woman since our night in Nanda Parbat I muse.

Out loud in a saddened tone I say “Felicity, knowing that you are out there watching is the only thing that keeps me breathing and moving forward at times. I hope one day that you can forgive me for all the pain that I caused you.” With that, I step towards the end of the roof, fire an arrow, and repel off the roof to the ground. When me feet hit the ground, I head for the bunker without missing a beat.

Epilogue 2 – Felicity Smoak Two Years In The Future

Felicity POV  
I sit my office eating some Big Belly Burger for lunch while I answered some emails that I hadn’t been able to respond to because of a long morning meeting. Feeling the need to stretch, I rise from my chair and walk over to the window and look out over the city. It has been two years since I left the bunker and it hits me that a lot has changed in that time. 

After leaving the bunker I decided I needed to get away for a few day so I dug into my savings and went to see my mom in Las Vegas. It was good bonding session that we both needed at the time. We watched a lot of chick flicks as well as consumed a lot of wine and mint chocolate chip ice cream during the week I stayed there. 

That night in the bunker I realized that I needed help with the overwhelming pain and guilt. Everything I had told Rory was true but I was still suppressing a lot. When I got back home from Las Vegas, I contacted Lyla. I explained that I had left the team and was making a clean break from Oliver, the team, and ARGUS as well. I told her that I needed one last favor. I enlightened her that I was having panic attacks and that I was not okay. I told her I would like her help in obtaining an ARGUS therapist that worked offsite and as the leader of ARGUS I wanted her to arrange for the sessions not find their way into the ARGUS database. We both agreed that it was best to use a privately contracted ARGUS therapist since ARGUS already knew I diverted the missile. She promised she would never let the sessions find their way into the database and never speak of it with Oliver. She gave me the name and phone number of a therapist, Connie Thompson, and with tears rolling down both of our faces we hugged and said goodbye.

The therapy with Connie was really tough for me at first. I have always been so independent that it was hard for me to admit that I need help, let alone accept it. I also have trust issues on top of that which didn’t help. Based on those two things, it took me a while to truly open up. With time I developed confidence in her. I explained to her that I was overwhelmed with guilt and feeling like a complete failure. I discussed with her the panic attack in the bunker. I told her I have even had two more precipitated by nightmares about Havenrock. Connie was able to assist in getting a prescription for anxiety that I could take as needed. She also worked with me on letting go of the guilt and remembering it was Darhk’s actions that ultimately caused what transpired. One of her assignments to help me let go of the guilt was to run a computer algorithm that calculated the number of deaths that could have occurred had I not acted. Building the algorithm along with seeing the enormous number of deaths without my action on the computer screen helped me slowly accept that I chose the lesser of two evils that night. It was still hard to not think of myself as a failure but she had me write affirmation cards that I could use to review all my successes. With the cards in front of me, little by little, I could understand that anyone else would likely not have done any better. When we first started therapy, I was seeing her once a week. Now, two years later, we meet once every three months to assure I was not regressing into the guilt and feelings of failure. The panic attacks that, at first, came weekly now come only once a month. I don’t know if they will every completely go away but I am grateful they are so infrequent and at least I have the medication to help during those rough moments. While I don’t know that I will ever completely be okay with what happened. I am not sure that is even possible. Thankfully though I am much more at peace. I realize that I have to honor those souls by moving forward and doing good in this world. 

Beyond seeking therapy once I returned from Las Vegas, I also broke up with Billy Malone. I realized that I was not truly capable of being in a relationship at the moment for three reasons. The first reason is that I was not emotionally healthy enough and consumed with pain from losing Oliver romantically and the tragedy at Havenrock despite my ability to put up the front of being okay. The second reason is he was a distraction from the anguish of Havenrock and losing Oliver. I just did not see us having a real future despite that fact that he was a nice guy. The third reason is because I was now the one withholding information. I was not and could not let him know of my night time activities or easily introduce him to friends, in particular Oliver. Also, I hadn’t even told Oliver about him. I was withholding the fact that I was in a relationship from Oliver just like he kept William a secret from me. I did the same thing Oliver did in regards to withholding information when there was no reason not to tell him. ‘How hypocritical of me, I did exactly what I accused him of’ I mused. 

Breaking up with Billy Malone was a change I needed. The funny thing about change is that sometimes it is expected and sometimes it is not I muse to myself. One of the biggest changes for me came as a surprise about four months after I left the bunker. I got a call from none other than Mr. Dennis, the same person who had me fired from Palmer Technologies. I will never forget that conversation:

Me: “Hello”

Mr. Dennis: “Miss Smoak, it is Mr. Dennis from Palmer Technologies.”

Me: “Mr. Dennis, it is a surprise to hear from you. What do you want?”

Mr. Dennis: “The Board and I have begun to realize that we were perhaps a hasty decision n letting you go. We believe we may not have given it enough consideration.”

Me: “You mean firing me. Why would you say or think that?”

Mr. Dennis: “We made a decision that we believed best at the time for the company future and stake holders. Hindsight has shown our decision to be the wrong choice.”

Me: “How very politically correct of you Mr. Dennis. I am very aware that company stock is still falling and that you are not making progress on the Nero stimulator or any other applied science project.”

Mr. Dennis: “Miss Smoak, I was hoping we could meet over coffee. The board truly is reconsidering their action.”

Me: “Fine, when would you like to meet?”

Mr. Dennis: “Tomorrow morning at Jitters across from Palmer Technologies. Say 8:30 am?”

Me: “I will see you there. Goodbye Mr. Dennis.”

I hung up the phone in complete shock. ‘He basically pushed the board into firing me and now he wants me to come back?’ I say to myself incredulously. ‘Well, if he wants me back I am going to have some demands of my own’ I think. I expect he won’t like my demands but if I am successful I will be able to pursue one of my dreams. The dream that means the most.

I arrive at Jitters at 8:15 am to beat Mr. Dennis to the coffee shop and choose a table. ‘I am ready for him’ I say to myself with conviction. Mr. Dennis arrives right on time and walks over to the table as I take a sip of coffee. I don’t even stand up to greet him.

Me: “Mr. Dennis”

Mr. Dennis: “Miss Smoak, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. As I explained, the board is interested in reinstating you. What I would like to know is – would you be interested?”

Me: “I will consider it but I have some demands of my own.”

Mr. Dennis: “What demands would those be?”

Me: “I have three demands: one, you resign from the board and I do not care what reason you give; two, the company will be renamed Smoak Technologies; three, the board is going to agree to finding a way to make the Nero stimulator affordable for the public.”

Mr. Dennis: “Those are some hefty demands and I am not sure that I can agree to them.”

Me: “Your resignation is completely your decision. The last two would require the board approval. If they want me back they need to understand my vision of the future. A name change and making the Nero stimulator affordable is my vision of the company’s future. Those two things are nonnegotiable. I know the board is unhappy with you Mr. Dennis. Not only are stocks still dropping but the company cannot find a way to make the Nero stimulator work, especially since you fired Curtis Holt as well. Also, there is the slight problem that I have the prototype inside of me.”

Mr. Dennis: “Miss Smoak, this is not what was envisioned when I called you.”

Me: “I suspect not but none the less, those are my demands. Now I suggest you go talk to the board. Call me if we have an agreement. I look forward to hearing from you.”

With that I stand up and walk out of the restaurant and have the pleasure of seeing Mr. Dennis go pale with a look of pure shock on his face.

He called me later that day to inform me that the board did indeed want me back and agreed to all my demands. He would retire and he did not share the reason with me. ‘Karma does indeed come around Mr. Dennis’ I state to myself. Within two weeks I am back in my old office as CEO and paperwork is underway for the name change. Now, I would need to talk to Curtis to assist me with my dream of making the Nero stimulator affordable.

I called Curtis and asked him to meet me for coffee. I explained over the phone that I was calling him as CEO of Smoak Technologies and wanted him to serve a business consultant to help produce the Nero stimulator for the public. I explained to him that I was not rejoining a team or reestablish a friendship based on his night time activities with Oliver and the others. He understood and agreed to keep our conversation strictly as a business consultant without divulging any information to anyone else.

Four months after Curtis and I began consulting, we had an affordable Nero stimulator that met with the board’s approval. Three months after that, the second Nero stimulator was installed in a 35 year old mother of two who had been hit and paralyzed by a drunk driver. I made sure to be there when she took her first steps and we both cried tears of joy. Naturally we had a photographer and news reporter to capture the moment.

A ping on my phone on my desk signaling an alert pulls me back to the present from my reminiscing. I walk over to my desk and read the alert:

Mayor Queen to hold a press conference at 3 pm on an upcoming waterfront project. 

I wonder what he is planning now. I have seen him on television in various press conferences and dedications. He looked good physically but one never knows what is going on with him internally. I watched on television the day he had Thea dedicate Harper Recreation Center in the Glades. As Thea spoke her voice was filled with love and Oliver beamed with pride at her. I had no doubt the name was Oliver’s idea. Memories of Roy/Arsenal came to me and a tear slid down my check. ‘Such a beautiful to honor him. He will never have a statue but he deserves that for all the good he did for this city’ I think to myself. In my mind I hear his voice say “Thanks Blondie.”

Thinking about Oliver was bittersweet with so much joy and pain wrapped into one. I have no regrets about our time together and some of my happiest memories are from our road trip. It was the closest I have come to feeling real love and I cherish that. Yet I was not enough for him to let me in completely. A tear slides down my cheek at that thought. ‘I’m not sure anyone would be enough’ I think to myself sadly. I wanted a relationship with complete honesty and inclusion and Oliver could not give me that so I did what I had do regardless of how painful it was.

I had told Oliver that we found ourselves in each other. I don’t think I was wrong per se, I just had not factored in the part of him that was still trapped on the island. It angered me and saddened me to think about that part of him because it destroyed us. It was indeed easy to get lost in him and my mom was right that love should feel that way. The problem was I gave myself over so completely I forgot to retain a piece of myself for me and maintain my own self- worth outside of us as a couple.

Currently I am not in a romantic relationship and I have no interest in being in one. Oliver asked me to find some peace and be happy which I have even if it took two years. My focus now was on running Smoak Technologies and providing the neuro stimulator to paralyzed individuals at an affordable cost as my legacy in this world. Those things gave me purpose and joy which in turn gave me piece. I was back to being an independent woman who learned the lesson that it was fine to have a good man in your life and romance but never lose your focus on what makes you happy. ‘Happiness comes in many forms Oliver. I hope you have found some peace and happiness as well’ I think to myself.

A knock on my office door brought me out of my musings. “Come in” I say out loud. My assistant comes in and explains that the board has arrived for the 1:30 meeting and is waiting for me. “Well, best not keep them waiting” I say as I throw the remnants of my lunch in the garbage can and grab my tablet so that I can head off to the boardroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading dear reader. I do hope you liked the story even though it was not Olicity endgame.
> 
> While Arrow writers might not acknowledge it, this author believes that Oliver did know that Rory was from Havenrock when he was talking about his rags and Genesis Day. He invited Rory to the team without talking to Felicity and it would have consequences.
> 
> Yes, the transition from Palmer Technologies to Smoak Technologies is a shout out to Legends of Tomorrow and the character of Felicity Smoak.
> 
> I couldn’t very well leave out Flash so of course I utilized Jitters as the coffee shop.
> 
> While Olicity was always the main couple I was interested in, I did enjoy Thea and Roy together. I thought they brought out the best in each other so I gave a quick nod to their relationship.
> 
> The inspiration for this story is two-fold:  
> 1- I was so upset watching the scene with Oliver and Rory on the rooftop where Oliver just simply invites Rory to the team knowing Rory was from Havenrock without talking to Felicity. Regardless that he doesn’t know about her PTSD, he should understand Havenrock would be a sensitive subject for her. Havenrock is her Lian Yu. I felt he should be more sensitive to someone who he considers his “always” even if they are not together at that moment.  
> 2- Emily Bett Rickards is a phenomenal actress and nailed the scene where Felicity told Rory she redirected the missile. It broke my heart to see Felicity in such pain again.


End file.
